5. Family
On the Saturday of each week, Cici would busy herself reviewing her notes, since I'd be working, and on Sunday we'd spend the day together. Monday I would run my own errands, since it was my day off. I'd go to Cici's apartment, cook for us, then I'd drive her to Gabby's after we'd eaten. The club had become a highlight of Cici's week, and mine, too.
We had been waiting for Cici to buy a couch before resuming watching Cowboy Bebop. With our intentions disrupted by Inés we hadn't done that, so we took this lull in activity before school to continue to the end of the show, a few episodes per visit. Cici loved the show, and when it ended it's possible that both of us teared up, even though I'd seen the entire series several times, and knew how it ended.
Grace rejoined Hayley and Ysabel, but she was no longer single. Tara, the girl I'd seen her spending time with, was now officially her girlfriend. Tara liked temporary flamboyant hair colors, but after Grace introduced me, she expressed an interest in having me work on something outrageous and permanent. "Something that will one-up Auntie Kay," she said, with a grin at Grace.
Since Kayla - "Auntie Kay" - was one of my boss's clients, I didn't think I'd be one-upping her, but I'd be happy to try. Tara was very young and occasionally immature, but friendly and smart, especially about computer systems. She grilled Cici about the computer analyses Cici ran for lab work. She also ran online games for "Auntie Kay" and her friends.
Cici's friends Ashley and Eileen joined us most Mondays. At this point, I was fairly confident that they no longer counted as straight, though how they would identify wasn't my business.
When we left Gabby's, I'd take Cici home and spend the night, leaving straight to work on Tuesday.
Cici held another party the weekend before school started. After that she was strict with her studies. I hadn't known her in school mode, other than watching her study under her tree. Now she regularly worked at the desk in the second bedroom, and was constantly making notes on her laptop or with pen and paper.
Once she'd started grad school I rarely stayed over on any other weekday, unless she was feeling stressed. Those occasions were not usually due to work or academics, but due to the fears and rumors within her community. She felt especially vulnerable since being exiled from her family. She wasn't in a high-risk situation, but the color of her skin made her a target, and she hated to be alone in public. Casual racism from ordinary people was something she experienced regularly now.
After particularly challenging days I'd drive over before bedtime, make us both a mug of cocoa, and spend the night. I kept pajamas and a couple of changes of clothes at her apartment, so all I had to do was hop into my car. She tried not to ask me too often.
I did check the webcam, though. Usually I'd find her working. I'd text her, and she'd smile and wave. Sometimes she'd call me instead, and we'd talk until she needed to head to bed.
One day in mid-September I logged into the Cici-spy-cam to find the view distorted and partially blocked.
Me: "What happened to the camera?"
I didn't receive a text for several minutes, then Cici replied.
Cici: "I moved it. I'll move the glass after I get changed."
After a few minutes, I saw movement in the room. Occasionally I'd see Cici move past the edge of the object blocking the view, but since the camera was focused very close she was always blurred.
The camera had two-way audio for nannycam use. I'd listened but rarely used the speaker function. Now I clicked my microphone icon. "What's going on?"
I heard Cici's voice from my phone speakers. "Ten paciencia, mi cielo."
A few minutes later, the object vanished and Cici, in her PJs, was carrying a glass out of her bedroom. Her bed was in the center of the frame.
She sat on the bed and smiled at the camera. "¿Me estás escuchando, cariño?"
"Am I listening? Yes." I replied. I wondered where she was going with this, but I liked it.
"¿Me estás viendo también?"
"I'm watching you, yes," I said. "I'm watching you very closely."
She gave me a mischievous smile. Her fingers hovered over the buttons on her top. "¿Qué te gustaría que hiciera?"
"I would like you to undo those buttons," I said, through the camera. I was getting wet just imagining it. "You know I would."
She smiled again, gazing into the camera as she slowly unfastened every button. She let the front of the top fall open, only partially exposing her breasts.
"You're so beautiful, Cici," I told her.
She smiled, then slipped the pajama top down her arms, her firm, rounded breasts quivering free.
"God, I wish I could kiss your tits right now," I said.
Cici ran her thumbs around her nipples. "¿Aquí?"
"Yes, aquí," I said. "I mean ahí. Sí, ahí. God, Cici, you're making it hard for me to think even in English."
"You like to see me touching myself here?" she asked, having mercy on my poor language skills.
"Yes," I said. "Very yes. See, I can't even English. Can you picture my lips right there?"
She licked the fingers of her right hand and circled them around her right nipple. Even through the webcam I could see how hard her nipples were. "Sí," she said. "Yes, I can imagine your face against me. The small ring in your lip, it is scratching, just a little, reminding me of your beautiful face against me."
"Jesus, Cici...."
"¿Te estoy volviendo loca?"
"Cici, you wouldn't believe how crazy my vuelves is right now."
She snorted a laugh, then said, "It excites me to know how I excite you. I want to feel more of you."
She folded the bedsheets down, then climbed into her bed. I pinched my phone screen to zoom in on her face and chest. Her nipples were hard, her areolae puffy. "I want you lying on top of me," she said. "I can feel you against my... uh, between my legs."
"So can I," I groaned. I slipped off my shorts, leaving myself in tee and panties. Pinching my nipples, I felt the solid presence of the barbells. I was so turned on that tugging them made my belly twitch. I could feel how wet I was without needing to move my finger to my panties.
Cici cupped her breasts. I could see her hands squeezing both hard. "Sam..." she said, her voice rasping. "I wanted to do this for you, but ¡Dios! I was not expecting it to feel so good like this."
"tt's because you know what you're doing to me," I rasped. "My exhibitionist princess."
"Only for you, Sam," she said. "I can really feel you against me. I want to stroke the metal between your legs. I love what your face is like when I do that."
She squirmed on the bed from only her arousal and her breast play. Then her right hand slipped down between the sheets. Zooming back, I saw her knees raised under the blankets, As I watched, her hips rose.
"Samara..." she moaned.
"Cee..." I replied. "I want you so much."
"I can... hear it in your voice," she said. "Even though the camera makes you sound like a robot! I can see your face in my mind. Your eyes are closed, and your jewelry is flashing in the light..."
My eyes were certainly not closed. They were taking in her body.
"Cici, your tits are so perfect. So full and sexy. I can see them shaking as you move. In my mind, I can feel them, so firm against my palm." I panted for a moment. "I'm pressing my face against them, feeling how they move against my cheek when I part my lips."
"Nggg!" groaned Cici. I could see her hips moving quickly. Her left hand left her breast for a moment to push back the blankets. Her chest had darkened with arousal or heat, and her belly was exposed.
"I'm going to lower my face to your pussy," I said. "Is that okay?"
There wasn't much point waiting for an answer, because Cici's sounds weren't coherent.
"God, Cici, I love the way you taste," I said. "I can taste you now. You're so wet. You're so wet for me, my love. I'm licking you, and kissing your clit, and your taste is everywhere, and God, I think I'm going to come!"
"Aaah!" Cici moaned. "Let me hear you come, Samara!"
Somehow my hand was inside my panties. I didn't recall moving it there. I flicked and pinched my clit, then curled a finger inside myself, the heel of my palm against my VCH. "God, Cici," I yelped. "Ah! Christ! I can't wait!"
"Don't wait, mi cielo," she said. "I want to feel you come while your mouth is on me."
That was more than I could take. I cried out as the waves of passion overwhelmed my senses.
Cici must have recognized the sound. Her hips bounced a few times, then her back arched. She cried out, "Samara! ¡Dios mio! Your body... Your love... My love... Mi amor... This is... so good!"
I closed my eyes for a moment, but I didn't want to miss any of the wondrous event, so I forced them back open. My sex was still pulsing wildly, gripping my finger, as I slowly withdrew it, while Cici's head and chest rolled side to side on the video image.
As incredible as I felt now, I wished I was in her bed, so that I could press my lips to hers.
"Is this..." I gasped, "what you call... me making you feel safe... when I stalk you."
"Eres mi maravillosa novia," Cici managed to say. "Yes, I feel very safe right now. I feel very loved, and that makes me safe."
"You are very loved, mi amor," I said. "Te amo con todo mi corazón"
"I love you too, Samara," she said, "with all of my heart."
In mid-October, Inés turned eighteen. Though Cici was blocked from calling or emailing, she wasn't going to ignore her sister's birthday. She sent her a gift, a delicate gold choker with peridots, a card, and a handwritten letter. The letter didn't mention their argument in any way. It just stated, simply, how Cici had always loved her sister and wished her joy and success in adulthood. No part of the gift was returned, which Cici hoped was a positive sign.
Through Maureen, we stayed up to date with the case. The state had set a trial date for Cici's assailants, and she was nervous about testifying, but I knew she'd be strong enough to do it. I wasn't happy about being on the witness list, but I was the only one who could attest to what I'd heard on the phone when Cici had been unconscious.
Our stress levels were both reduced by a call from the district attorney's office, letting Cici know that the state had reached a plea agreement. She wasn't allowed to protest the outcome, but they were required to let her know the details, and she could choose to be present at the sentencing. She declined.
The one who'd fondled her, the one from Halloween, pleaded guilty to sexual assault, and would have to register as a sex offender. The other two had pled to second degree assault.
"This is good for us," Maureen claimed. She'd called to let Cici know she was ready to file the civil suits. "The State dropped SA charges on two, but they were a stretch, and conspiracy on all three. The guilty pleas mean we go into the process with the three unquestionably liable. Down the road we'll need depositions, but I'll work with you on those when we're ready."
Cici's feelings about the whole situation were mixed. Pleased that the ordeal was over and that she wouldn't have to testify. Disappointed with herself that she felt vindictive toward the attackers, though she fully believed they'd earned any punishment they received. Apparently the plea almost guaranteed some jail time.
I held her against me that night without speaking and without attempting anything more intimate.
I was spooned against Cici's back on a Saturday night when the doorbell rang, followed by a tentative knock.
"Again?" Her voice was sleepy.
I put on my PJs and followed her into the living room. She didn't object to my presence, opening the door as soon as she'd peeked through the peephole.
Again, it was Inés outside. Cici opened the door completely. Her sister entered, glancing at me before turning to her. Then she launched herself at Cici, wrapping her arms around her as she burst into tears.
"I'm sorry!" she said, her face buried in Cici's neck. "I'm so sorry! I miss you so much! I've been so stupid. I want my sister back!"
"Inés! Oh, Inés! ¡Estoy tan feliz de verte!"
I left them crying, their arms around each other, while I began making three cups of cocoa. I wasn't sure if Inés would want to see "the whore with chains on her face", but at least I could try to support the two of them.
When I returned with the cocoa, the sisters were sitting side by side on the couch. Inés took the mug I offered her, giving me a quick, guilty look before staring at her lap. Cici had some cookies in the kitchen, so I brought a plate of them, setting it between the two. Inés looked up at me again. "Thank you," she said.
"Should I leave you alone?" I asked Cici, but it was Inés who answered.
"No, please, stay," Inés said. "I want to say sorry to both of you."
"Why, Inés? What happened?" Cici asked.
"I was wrong," she said. "I thought I was so right. I thought I was so righteous! I argued with my boyfriend. He called me a bigot. We broke up."
"I'm sorry," said Cici.
Inés shook her head. "It would have happened anyway. He wasn't good for me, but it made me think, if even he was disgusted with me, maybe he wasn't wrong. I was more shocked than upset at the time, because I was right, you know? But then the story got around school and friends I thought were cool started avoiding me, but others offered sympathy. My friend Megan cut me off completely. I found out later that she's dating a girl, but she's hiding it because she doesn't want problems. Problems with people like me. And the ones who are sympathetic, you know? They're the ones who probably want to have me deported."
She picked up a cookie, glancing at me with a brief sad smile, then dunked it into her cocoa and took a bite before continuing. "It made me start to think that if the wrong people are with me, maybe I was wrong. Mamá is furious with you. Like, completely insane. There's no love in her reactions. And there's no love in the words of the priests. When I found out Megan had a girlfriend I felt sick, but it wasn't because she was gay, it was because I was supposed to hate two of the best women I know. That couldn't be right. So I managed to talk to her and apologize to her and I know it's... not wrong, even if I'm having trouble accepting that." She glanced at me again as she said that.
"Don't beat yourself up about having trouble coming to terms with gay people not being monsters," Cici said. "It will take time. I still love you."
"I still love you, too," Inés said, "even if I don't understand everything about you."
"What brought on the need to come see me in the middle of the night?" Cici asked.
Inés's sigh sounded like pure dejection. "Mamá went on another tirade about family. ¡Oh, hermana! I have not apologized for outing you to her!"
"No, I should be the one apologizing, Ine," Cici said. "If I had told Mamá when I should have, you wouldn't have had to bear the cost of her anger. You wouldn't have had to feel guilty about telling her." She reached for her sister's hand, squeezing it without letting go. "So please don't blame yourself. All I care about is that I have you back. It was past time for me to come out to her. I was only avoiding it because I knew I'd lose contact with you and Tomas. Samara kept warning me that the longer I waited the less control I'd have."
Inés frowned. "Samara?"
Cici's eyebrows rose. "Oh, yes. We didn't really have time for introductions last time. Samara." She gestured toward me. "My girlfriend. Mi alma gemela."
"You mean that, don't you?" Her sister asked.
"I do," Cici said.
"Hi, Inés," I said. "Nice to see you again. I don't make a habit of meeting people naked."
She gave me a weak grin. "You weren't naked, you were wrapped in a blanket. I'm very sorry for barging in."
"Thank you," I said. "I'm glad you came back."
"Right, I was telling you why," she said, to Cici. "So Mamá was yelling about her disloyal family. You and Elián, of course. Papá, since they've been fighting again. How I'm the only one who sees things her way, which made me feel sick and guilty, because I don't want to be like her. And how she wasn't going to let me go to college because she wouldn't let it change me. So I said I'm going to college and we had a fight. You know I'm going to be a nurse! I must go to college! I don't know what to do, I didn't know who else to talk to, and I had to see you to tell you sorry..."
"You'll go to college, Ine, if you want to. You're eighteen now. She can't stop you."
"How?" Inés wailed. "If she can disown her son and daughter for being... what you are, she can kick me out for not following her wishes."
I winced inwardly at her phrasing, but she was trying.
"I can't afford college without her help, and I can't afford my own place, so yes, she can stop me."
"You can go. I'll help you, Inés," Cici said. "We can look for scholarships and you can get loans. In-state tuition isn't so high, and you can get a job. I just graduated from a school that's one of the best nursing schools in the state. If you go there, maybe you could stay with Elián for a time. Maybe you could even work for him during break!"
"Elián? Would he even see me?"
"May I answer that?" I asked Cici, who looked at me with surprise. I turned to Inés. "Brooke and I were with him at Cici's graduation. He told me he misses you and wished he could see you."
"Of course he does, Ine," Cici added. "He's not the demon that Mamá thinks. He's just gay, like me, and she tried to destroy his life for it. It may be hard not to let Mamá's poison affect you, but if you know it is poison, maybe you can get past it."
"Thank you, Cici," Inés said. "I feel terrible asking for help after the way I treated you. That isn't why I came here, you know? I mean, it is, because I can't stay with Mamá's rules and her intolerance, but only after apologizing, you know? I mean it. I want my sister back. And my brother, if I can have him. I've missed him so much!"
"Tell you what," Cici said. "Come back tomorrow and we'll FaceTime him. He'll be thrilled. And you can come to live with me." She turned to me. "Are you okay with that, Sam?"
"This is your place, mi amor, but I approve. Your family shouldn't suffer your mother's attitudes. You can always come to my place for sleepovers."
"¡Qué va! Inés must understand that we're together," Cici said. "You may have to wear earplugs if the sounds disturb you, hermanita, and you would have to do your share of housework."
Inés's face had colored a little as she looked between us, but she nodded. "If I do stay here, yes, of course. Um, would I be able to have boys over?"
"You're an adult, Inés," Cici said. "I won't police your choices. But only as guests, and I won't tolerate them mistreating you. Be sure to get all your papers from Mamá's house. You could keep them safe here even if you stay at home, in case you need them."
Her sister gave a sharp, bitter laugh. "I already carry my birth certificate with my driver's license. Don't you?"
"Passport card," Cici said, "but that's good, in that Mamá can't hold it hostage."
"I shouldn't stay longer," Inés said. "She thinks I'm taking urgent notes to a friend. I did just want to apologize." The look she gave me seemed less strained than it had. "To both of you."
"Do you want my number?" I asked her. "Use the name of one of your friends for me, in case you want to text Cici without your mother knowing you're in contact."
She agreed, and we traded numbers before she hugged Cici and left.
"You live an exciting life," I said.
"Ay, it seems so," Cici said. "I'm jealous of your mother. Can we trade?"
"Not a chance," I said, "but it looks like you get your sister back. Do you think she'll cut her off too, if she goes to college against her wishes? When at least she's straight?"
Cici's face fell. "I don't know, Sam. I hope not. There is still Tomas. If she disowns Inés, he'll have no one. But I will be there for her."
"I'm glad for that," I said.
"If there is any money from the injury case, I'm going to use it to help Inés get on her feet," Cici declared. "She deserves to have her own life, whatever our mother believes."
"I talked to Papá," Inés said. She'd sneaked out again. It wasn't easy for her to find an excuse, but she'd done so a few times so that Cici could help her with paperwork. She had her own bank account, and she'd applied for a passport with her sister's help. The two were working through the college app process. Since Cici was working and studying, it was exhausting, but we'd expected that, and I helped out with cooking and meal prep, meaning I spent an increasing amount of time at her place, which suited both of us.
"How did that go?" Cici asked.
"He's easier to work with. They're still fighting, so I don't see them talking about it, and even if they did, he's fine with me going to college. He's still not interested in anything to do with you or Elián." She made an apologetic gesture. "Sorry."
"I didn't expect otherwise." Cici sighed. "It would be nice to be surprised, but I'm okay just having you back in my life. I can't even think about Tomas. Did he give you the tax information?"
"Yup." Inés made a popping sound on the P. "And I'm checking the mail before Mamá every day. He knows that, too."
"It isn't perfect," Cici said, "but that should be everything you need from them."
"I brought some essentials from home, too, in case it's necessary," said Inés.
"Nice doll," I said, looking at the rag doll, a twin to Cici's, sitting at the top of the box by her feet.
Inés gave me a cheeky grin, lifting it from the box. "Was that 'Nice doll', or 'Nice, doll'?" She asked. I returned her grin, pleased that she was becoming more comfortable around me. She had already become reacquainted with Elián by video call, which began tearfully and morphed into affectionate sibling insults between the three of them. She'd given him another fake name alongside mine in her phone so that they could stay in touch by text.
My parents invited us to visit them at Thanksgiving. I'd told them about Cici, and they wanted to meet her, especially since I'd told Mom a little about her family problems. I apologized that I wouldn't be able to. It would cost over fifteen hundred dollars for both of us to fly. Maybe next year if I could save up. At that, Mom decided she was buying our tickets. She wasn't taking no for an answer, which was very much Mom's approach to life.
Elaine let me take the Wednesday off, and Cici took time off from her job. Her university was on break for the week, of course, so we travelled in the crowded pre-Thanksgiving holiday air traffic.
My brother Justin picked us up from the airport. He was a college sophomore now, and this was the first time I'd seen him in person since he'd started.
"If they're letting you drive now, I'm glad you're a thousand miles away," I said.
"You know I've been driving for five years?" Justin said.
"You know why I've lived a thousand miles away for five years?" I retorted.
"Probably because you can't afford Cali housing," he said, "which is fair, because no one can."
Justin looked a lot like me, without the piercings and weird hair. My parents always commented on it, and now Cici did, too. He was slender without being skinny, about six foot, with the same square face and brown eyes. With a wig and a few fake rings he could disguise himself as me.
He wouldn't even need much padding.
If Cici was easygoing around my brother, she was much less so with my parents, greeting them politely as Mr. and Mrs. Matthew.
"None of that, Alicia," my mother said. "We're Tina and Greg. Or Mom and Dad if you like?" She smirked at Cici, then spoke again before my girlfriend had a chance. "Too soon for that, I guess? Justin! Why is our guest carrying her own case?"
Justin rolled his eyes and reached for Cici's small case. She handed it over before she had time to process Mom's words.
"Hey, I'm a guest too," I said, holding up my case.
"No, you're not," Mom said. "We've put you both in the room you stayed in before. I hope that's okay?"
Not that they had any extra rooms, but she could have made me use the pull-out sofa in the living room, or at least could have suggested that if she wasn't sure about our relationship. Instead, she barreled ahead with her assumption that we'd want to share a bed.
"Uh..." Cici found her voice. "Call me Cici, please, Mrs... umm, Tina."
"Of course, dear," Mom said. "Cici. Come through when you're unpacked. There's lasagna in the oven, but it will keep until you've showered, if you prefer."
"I would, Tina, thanks," Cici said. "It wasn't an easy trip."
Mom's lasagna was both ordinary and memorable. She always claimed she did nothing special, and she'd even written down her recipe for me, but what I made never tasted quite like hers. She always made it - at my request - when I saw them. These days I could drink wine with it, which I hadn't done growing up. Wine didn't dilute the memories of eating her lasagna on a weekend.
"Did Sam warn you that we're not cooking turkey tomorrow?" Dad asked Cici.
"Yes, she did," Cici said. "She said you were making roast lamb."
"Are you okay with that?" he asked.
"I like lamb, yes," she said. "Mamá used to cook lamb, and goat."
"Used to?" Mom never missed a damn thing.
"I'm sure she still does," Cici said. "I... don't see her."
My mother glanced at me. I gave her a small shake of my head. She gave me an equally tiny nod before changing the subject.
Dad opened another bottle of wine while we sat around the table after eating. I think we were all feeling a little tipsy. It was relaxing.
Cici, Justin and I played a tabletop escape game while Mom and Dad interrogated me for updates and continued getting to know my girlfriend.
Maybe it was the wine that prompted Cici to admit her stress over flying to see them.
"Travelling anywhere right now is scary," she said. "I was born here, but a lot of people don't want me here. Agents wait at airports for immigrants, and I'm not one, but they're not good at telling one brown skin from another. People like me are having a difficult time everywhere, and it has only been getting worse over this year. My mother is paranoid, but she is not a citizen, and I think she has cause."
"Is that why you don't see her?" my mother asked, puzzled.
Cici shook her head. Again, maybe it was the wine that encouraged her to continue. "I hid that I like girls from her for my whole life. When she found out, it didn't go well."
"Not everyone has a Mom who wants to set her up with her co-worker's daughter," I said.
"She did that?" Cici asked me, then realized that my mother was right there. Turning to her, she asked, "You did that?"
"Guilty," said Mom. "She was a nice girl."
"She was okay," I admitted, "but I'd have held her interest better if I'd known what shape a soccer ball was. All I know about sports, I've picked up from clients, and back then, I was only starting out. What Cici says about being scared, though, Mom, my other friends feel the same. Ysabel, Cade, and even Phil, they say I live in a different world to them."
Cici nodded. "It's hard to explain how much our lives have changed," she said.
"Hell, even I have people giving me the evil eye," I said, taking another sip of wine.
"Why?" Mom asked. "Because you're a lesbian?"
I shook my head. "No, because I'm too tall."
Even Cici gave me a disbelieving look at that.
"It's true," I said. "I'm as tall as Justin, and as ugly as Justin..."
"Hey!" Justin objected.
"... and no one could accuse me of flaunting my boobs," I continued, ignoring him. "So when I use the women's restroom I get glared at by people who think I'm trans. It rarely happened before this year. In some states I'd probably have guys following me to check if I'm a 'real woman'. It's creepy as fuck."
Mom frowned at me, but didn't complain about my language. I felt guilty anyway. I didn't curse in front of my mother.
"Sorry," I said, a moment later. I nodded to my wine glass. "I should cut myself off. It's just frustrating as ... as anything, knowing there's so little I can do to defend the people I love."
Cici's hand stole over mine and gripped it. Mom saw that and beamed at us.
I didn't contribute much to the escape room. Cici and Justin were so much better at solving the riddles than me. He was closer to her, intellectually, than me. As I often did, I felt a surge of pride that she'd chosen me, even though I wasn't and never would be in her league. Still, I enjoyed the game, and especially liked how well my girlfriend interacted with my family.
When Mom observed that Cici was keeping up with Justin, even though she'd never played a puzzle game like this before, I said, "She's a supergenius, Mom." Cici looked up to smirk at me, and I explained about her advancement in high school and college, and how she was working on a tough doctoral program, while she and Justin were tackling the next stage.
Out of respect for my parents' hospitality, Cici and I were very quiet in the spare room on that and each night of the visit.
Roast lamb made a welcome change from turkey, and the rest of our stay was relaxing. I suggested Justin visit at Christmas, if Mom and Dad would be okay with him not being at home. They agreed, with the condition that next year we'd try to spend Christmas with them. There were tears in Cici's eyes when we left.
Though the travel had been without incident, Cici's relief when we arrived back at her place was clear. While I was pouring a drink, she changed into a loose crop shirt and shorts. She wasn't wearing a bra, and the way the tee shirt swayed kept drawing my eyes. I stood beside her and leaned down to nuzzle her neck.
"It's a philosophical problem for the ages, isn't it?" I asked.
Cici frowned at me. "What is?"
"The more I like looking at what you're wearing, the more I want to take it off," I said.
She laughed. "Sí, es un enigma. Are you going to stay the night?"
"Are you going to let me take your clothes off?"
"¿Me vas a tentar?"
"Uh... I didn't get that one," I said.
"¿Me tentarás como al diablo?"
"Umm, the devil? Am I the devil? I probably am to your church and family," I said.
"No, are you going to entice me?" Cici asked. "Tempt me like the devil?"
"Oh, hell, yes," I said. I sat on the couch and pulled Cici into my lap. "I will be your personal diablo."
She grinned and wrapped her arms around me. We kissed slowly, almost innocently, if the occasional meetings of our tongues could be thought of as chaste, until my hands had travelled up inside her shirt, and I began caressing her breasts. At that point, she moaned and sucked my tongue into her mouth.
My arousal ramped up at the soft skin beneath my fingers, and the sounds she made. Along with the moan, she panted into my mouth. I moved my lips from hers. She groaned again as I kissed her ear. "I love the sounds you make for me," I murmured.
"I can't help it," she groaned as I lightly pinched her nipples. "You make me feel so good."
"I want to kiss your breasts," I whispered.
I felt her shiver, and her breathing became heavier.
"Do you want me to?" I asked. She didn't speak, but I felt her nod against me, so I pushed her back far enough to press my mouth to her tee shirt, taking in her left breast. Her fingers moved to my hair as I suckled.
After a couple of minutes, I lifted my face. "I want to taste your skin," I said. "I want my lips on your bare nipple."
She nodded again, but this time I wasn't going to let her get away without speaking. "Do you want that?"
"¡Dios!" Cici yelled. "¡Sí! Yes! You know I do."
Pinching the hem of her loose tee, I lifted it just far enough to uncover her left nipple, then I sucked her breast into my mouth, kneading it with my right hand as my left moved to her other breast. Her hips rolled in my lap, and the sounds she was making became constant, gasps of breath and moans.
Several minutes later, I looked up again. "Have I tempted you to start taking off your clothes?" I asked.
With a frustrated grunt, she slid backward off my lap, tugging her shirt over her head before she'd finished standing. "¡Sí! ¡Mi diablo! ¡Mi ángel! ¡Mi cielo!" As soon as the shirt hit the floor she yanked down her shorts and underwear in sharp motion. "Yes! I am tempted! Now, please, stop asking questions!"
Laughing, I welcomed her back into my lap, but didn't let her slide her body as close as it had been. As I resumed kissing her breast, I pressed my left hand down between us and stroked her pussy. She cried out, then began bucking against my finger. I let her do that for a while, before curling my finger into her.
Cici's hands grasped my head and tugged it up from her breast. She kissed me, her passion intense, and bucked harder, digging her fingers into my hair. I lifted my thumb, stretching it up to her clit as I let my finger tap against her G-spot.
Cici started to lose control. I could feel her passage twitching around my finger. When I brought my right hand back to her breast, squeezing, she fell apart completely, crying into my mouth. Her body shuddered in climax as she kissed me in desperation, the sounds she made not muted by my lips on hers.
When her breathing started to slow, I drew back from the kiss and slid my finger out of her. But instead of letting her rest, I grasped her hips, lifting her off me and dropping her into the corner of her couch. I pushed her thighs apart roughly, then dropped my face to her clit as I shoved two fingers inside her. I lapped her clit as I pushed my fingers into her.
Cici writhed for a moment as if uncomfortable, but then she moaned again, and within a minute I had her gasping as another powerful climax approached. Her back arched, her lovely breasts lifted to the sky, then she clamped hard around my fingers and came against my mouth. Her breasts rippled sharply with each spasm of her body. Even after she pushed my hand away from her she quivered with aftershocks.
Later, spent, we were naked in each other's arms, tangled together in her bed.
"Hey, Samara," Cici said. "Are you still awake?"
"Yeah," I replied. I was barely done with the aftershocks of my last climax, and felt consumed by warmth; a combination of afterglow and love.
"I suggested that Inés move in to help her out," she said, "but I think you should move in first. Then if she does, we're already a family."
"You want me to move in for Inés?" I asked.
Her hair tickled my breast as she shook her head. "I want you to move in for me. But if she joins us, she won't see you as competition. She'll see you and me as a unit." I felt her shrug. "Or, that's my idea, but you know I want you to live with me."
"We've been official girlfriends for over a year now," I said. "I don't think it's too soon to move in together. Yeah, I'd like that."
She pulled me tighter against her. "Thank you, Sam," she said.
"Hey, we can move my bed in here and offload this full-size to the spare room in case Inés needs it," I said.
"Mmm, yeah," Cici agreed. "I prefer your bed, especially when you're in it."
Cici got me added to the lease and I moved in just before Christmas. My own lease wouldn't expire for a few months, which allowed us to delay moving smaller items and cleanup, but by Christmas, the second bedroom had a full-size bed and desk, so it would work either as Cici's office or Inés's room. And when Justin visited, we had a place for him.
The city had discontinued the holiday illuminations at the gardens, which was a disappointment, but we visited the gardens anyway, on the anniversary of our first official date, just in the daytime. We weren't short of places to celebrate the holidays, with parties at Gabby's, at Cici's place of work and at various friends' houses, all of which we took Justin to.
Inés visited both before and after Christmas. On Christmas Eve, she seemed uncharacteristically shy. Not at all like the girl who'd screamed at us for being abominations, or even the one who'd returned with sincere apologies. It took a while for me to realize it was Justin's presence that had triggered her reticence. When she returned two days after Christmas, she was far more vocal, but seemed more interested in talking to Justin than either of us.
"Do you have New Year plans?" she asked Cici, who shook her head.
"We'd planned to go to the party at the Cowardly Lion, but I realized we'd have to leave Justin behind," I said. "I haven't figured anything else out yet."
"My friend Megan's having a party, but it's mostly girls," Inés said. "She's been trying to find more boys to invite. Would you like to come with me?" she asked Justin. "Then our sisters can go to their old people party."
Justin shrugged. "Sure. Why's she having so much trouble finding guys? Are you at an all-girls school?"
Inés shook her head. "No, but there's no alcohol, and her parents will be nearby, so no sneaking any past them."
"You're talking to Megan again?" Cici asked.
"Yeah," said Inés. "I think everyone who's going knows about her and Fran. I think that's also why she's having trouble finding boys. She can't trust most of them." She gave Justin a quick grin. "I take it you're okay around gay people?"
"Always have been," he said.
"He knows if he isn't I'd beat his homophobic ass," I said.
"That, too," he agreed.
New Year at the Lion was as raucous and flamboyant as I'd expected. It may have been a little much for Cici, especially when Cade demanded a New Year kiss from her, leaving her breathless, with flushed cheeks and a bemused smile.
Phil eyed me, and I stared at him for several seconds before shrugging. "Why the hell not?" So we locked lips for a few seconds, then broke apart. "Yeah, man," I said, "I love you, but let's not do that again."
"Yeee-aaaaah," Phil said, slowly. "I thought it was just me." Then he winked and hugged Cade and Cici without kissing them.
We had to wait a long time for our Uber home. Cici's dad's car was outside our apartment. "My sister's still here," she said. She rang the doorbell before unlocking the door, which puzzled me for a moment, until I saw Inés and Justin sitting as far apart as possible on the couch, Inés adjusting her sweater.
"Thanks for waiting for us, Inés," I said. "I wouldn't want Justin to have to wait around alone and bored. How was the party?"
"Great," Inés said. "I think your brother got to make out with every straight girl there."
"What can I say?" Justin asked. "She was right that there weren't many guys."
"Every straight girl?" asked Cici, giving her sister a stern look.
"Uh, yeah, I think so," Inés replied, her cheeks turning the same dark rose I was used to with Cici.
Cici decided to host another of her cooking experiments during Spring Break. Inés wanted to help. Ysabel's mother had offered to make tamales, so Bel brought a big tray of them, collecting Inés on the way.
When I arrived after work, Cici's apartment was more crowded than ever. Hayley and Bel were there, and Grace had brought Tara. Ashley and Eileen had added Brooke. Inés was sitting on the couch expounding on her favorite video games to Tara, who was close to her own age, having only graduated high school the previous year.
From her hostility toward "abominaciones" only a few months earlier to being comfortable with a crowd where only Brooke would claim to be straight, Inés had embraced acceptance.
I mentioned it to her as we stood around eating. Cici hadn't even tried to find a way to seat everyone. It was easier to use the table for food, give everyone paper plates and have everyone serve themselves. Inés had been in an animated conversation with Tara and Grace about university life, and had just picked up another of Bel's mother's tamales.
"You seem to be doing fine with LGBT friends, these days," I said. "Do you still find us confusing?"
Inés frowned. "I'm not sure they're really my friends," she said. "They're yours and Cici's. But I like them, you know? I'm still confused, though. I can't tell who's with who, since they're all girls. Tara's with Grace, I can see that, but what about Hayley and Bel? Is Eileen with anyone?"
"Why?" I asked with a grin. "Are you interested? Have you decided you are into girls with piercings after all?"
Inés's face took on the rosy hue I associated with Cici. "Mi hermana dice la verdad. Eres muy tonta."
"As far as I know," I continued, "Tara and Grace are the only couple. Oh, well, and Cici and I are. If you hadn't noticed."
She just glared at me.
"You should invite your friend Megan and her girlfriend over sometime. Let her know you're a safe person, and you spend your time around safe people."
Inés nodded enthusiastically. "I'd like to, if Cici doesn't mind. Maybe I could send her a photo of me with everyone here. Could you take it?"
"Sure," I said. "With your phone?"
"Yeah," said Inés, "except I don't know where I set it down. Would you call my number?"
"Okay," I said. I was done with my food, so I tossed out my paper plate and disposable fork, then took out my phone and called her.
There was no ringing sound, but maybe there was too much noise in the apartment and it was muffled by a pocket or a purse. I hit the end call button.
"Hey, everyone?" I raised my voice a little. "Could you hold whatever thought you have for ten seconds? We're trying to find Inés's phone."
Conversations trailed off, and everyone watched expectantly as I called again.
Still nothing.
"You brought the tamales in," said Bel. "Did you leave your phone in my car?"
"Ah! Yes, I think so," Inés replied. "Can I borrow your keys?"
Ysabel tossed her keys to Inés, who scampered out of the room. Conversations resumed.
After a couple of minutes, curious why Inés was taking so long, I left the apartment to hang over the railing and look for her. She was standing beside a car outside the next apartment block, her phone to her ear, and even from this distance I heard her yelling into the phone. The words were Spanish, but she was too far away for me to hear clearly. I moved back into the apartment and drew Cici aside. "Something's going on," I said.
"Inés?" Cici's eyes were wide.
"Yeah. I don't think we should intrude, but she might need support when she gets back."
When the door opened a few minutes later, Inés entered carrying her phone and the keys. Her face was far too pale, and her makeup was smeared and showed tear tracks. Tara got to her even before Cici or me, and she and Grace wrapped their arms around her.
Tara moved her over to the couch and sat her down.
"Hey, sis?" she said, her voice rough. "Is it still okay if I move in?"
Tara stood to let Cici sit beside her sister. "Of course it is, Ine," she said. "Was that Mamá?"
Inés nodded. "She's been calling all day. There's been a raid. She wanted to tell me to stay away, but I didn't answer the phone. I told her I was going to Sara's house, but she called Sara and I'm not there. I finally had to tell her I was with you so she'd know I was safe."
"Did she kick you out?" asked Cici, her tone soft with sympathy.
Inés shook her head. "She said she was never letting me out of her sight again. I told her yes she was, I was an adult and I was going to college. So she started to shout at me, and I said I won't be back."
Brooke leaned down to kiss Inés on the forehead. "What a family," she said.
Inés gave her a tentative smile.
"What about a raid?" Brooke asked.
"Oh. It was a house down the street," Inés said. "I got that from Mamá before she started interrogating me. Probably gang-related. Wouldn't be surprised. But the black SUVs came out of nowhere and they broke a door down and the SUVs are still driving around and there's no one on the street. So having to find a place to stay because I don't want to go home seems so petty."
"It's not petty, Ine," Cici said. "There's a lot of bad things going on, and Mamá being unbalanced is one of them. You need to stay safe."
"And then I realized," Inés added, "I was standing out in the parking lot screaming into my phone in Spanish. How... how fucking stupid am I to do that these days, you know?"
"You'll be okay." Cici was trying to sound reassuring. "I'm sure they have bigger targets to go after."
"And I fucked up your party, too," Inés said.
"¡Inés Jimena Moreno Reyes! ¡Vaya boquita! ¿Qué pensaría Lupita al escuchar tales palabras?" Her tone was sharp, but her eyes danced, giving the lie to her chastisement.
"Lupita is a doll, Cici," said Inés, but there was the beginning of a smile on her face. She wrapped her arms around Cici, burying her face against her shoulder. "¡Te quiero!"
"A mi también," Cici replied.
We had Inés installed in the spare bedroom the same day, and we settled into a comfortable living arrangement. I drove her to school every day, while her friend Sara brought her back to the apartment. Her passport had arrived just after New Year, and she could get the status of her college apps online, so she no longer needed to pick up mail from her parents' place.
The last few weeks, and perhaps especially being around the young women at Cici's latest gathering, seemed to have confirmed to Inés that being a lesbian didn't make me a horrible person, or wrong for my sister.
Before she'd moved in, she seemed determined to hide as much skin as possible if I was around. Now she would wear tank tops and shorts in the evening instead of sweaters and jeans. Still, one night I was getting myself a glass of water when she emerged from her room in a tight tank and panties. She saw me, squeaked and dove right back into her room.
Cici and I tried to keep our intimate times quiet for her, but we couldn't be completely silent, and some mornings she gave Cici a knowing look.
Inés decided she wanted to have me color her hair. Her curls were much looser than her sister's, and she wanted to tighten them, which I could do, but not at the same time. I wanted her to feel good about herself after the stress she'd been through, so I offered to cover the cost of both the style and color. I warned her that it would be a one-time offer; even Cici paid for my services.
She showed up in tiny denim shorts and a V-neck crop top which was tight at the neckline but hung loosely from her breasts. She was thinner and taller than Cici, but was shaped much like her in the chest. I should not be noticing how my girlfriend's kid sister's neckline showcased her figure, but she made it hard to avoid, and I was relieved to get the cape around her.
Similar views weren't uncommon in my work, especially from women who enjoyed the flirtatious side of a haircut. Working on someone's hair is an intimate experience for both parties, sometimes awkwardly so, and Cici was right to be concerned about flirty customers, but I'd been working for long enough to have no problem keeping any teasing on a purely surface level. Still, even that degree was out of order for Inés, while she seemed determined to shake off her Catholic prudishness.
"When you come back for coloring, do you want me to schedule it around the nail tech's visit? I'd like to treat you to a mani-pedi, too. She's very good."
"I see why my sister likes you," she said. "I think you're good for her."
"Why, because I offered to pay?"
"No, because you don't judge," she said. "I was a total bitch to you when we met, but you've been nothing but kind."
"You weren't deliberately being a bitch," I said. "It was the prejudices you were taught, and you rose above them. Most don't."
"Thanks," she said, with a smile. "It's getting easier. I can totally see why Grace and Tara are into each other, even if I wouldn't want to be with either."
"Do you hear from Justin?" I asked, later.
"Not really," she said. "We texted for a time, but we're unlikely to see each other. Maybe one day."
"Yeah," I said. "I understand." I'd traded a couple of emails with Justin since Christmas, but he hadn't mentioned Inés, and I hadn't been sure whether I should ask. Maybe I should.
Between the perm and coloring, Inés's college acceptance came through. Now she had to ramp up efforts to find funding and apply for loans. I may have had mixed feelings about not having a degree, but I was glad I'd never faced the pressures that Cici and her sister had.
After the coloring appointment, I drove her back to Cici's place with stunning - if I say so myself - warm cinnamon curls, together with apricot toenails and emerald fingernails, courtesy of Melinda, Elaine's part-time nail tech. Both sisters loved the new look.
"I think your sister has a crush on me," I mentioned, spooned against my girlfriend that night.
"You think so?" she asked.
"I'm not encouraging her," I said, "but I've noticed how her clothing choices have changed since she moved in, and how frequently she needs to be somewhere that requires brushing past me. I don't think it's really even deliberate. It's more like she's spent so much time learning to like me for your sake that she's pushed herself a little too far. Don't be mad with her, I think it's great that she's made so much progress, and I can keep her from trying anything dumb."
"You just like being idolized by both of us," she griped. "Do you think she's not straight?"
"I'm sure she thinks she is," I said, "and I'm sure that when she's away from here she'll have a better perspective."
"I hope so," Cici said, "'cause she's not having you. And if you ever decide otherwise, you'll find that Mamá isn't the most loca woman in the family." She reached behind to take my hand and drew me closer.
Inés would be leaving soon enough. As soon as she graduated high school, she was going to live with Elián and work at his shop until registration. She might work part-time for him after that, if schedule allowed, but she'd be moving into a house with three other girls in the nursing program.
She'd had no contact with her mother since she'd moved in with us, though she traded texts with her father occasionally. He wasn't happy about Cici's influence, but he didn't see that Inés had a future at home.