Chapter 4

I almost went home. I didn't know what was going on with me. I wanted to talk to Heather, but she'd be with Anita. Still, I could text her. She probably wouldn't reply until tomorrow, but maybe we could get coffee then.

And if she hadn't silenced her phone, and I interrupted them, a vindictive part of my mind thought, "Good."

"Hey" I sent.

Heather replied instantly. "Hey yourself. What's up?"

"Is Anita still there? I don't want to disturb you," I sent.

"She's not here. Why?" Heather asked.

"Can I see you?"

"I think you missed the bus," she replied.

"I'll get Uber if you will let me in," I sent.

"Sure, if you want."


Twenty minutes later I texted her from outside. She let me in a moment later, in a robe over her nightgown. The living room was empty. Everyone else must be upstairs..

I took a seat by the vanity in Heather's room, my hands folded in my lap. I didn't know how to start. For that matter I really had no idea why I was there.

"What's up?" asked Heather.

"Why did Anita leave?" I asked.

"She didn't leave," Heather replied. "She was never here. She offered to drive me home. Otherwise I'd have had to call Erin."

"Oh. I thought..." I glanced around the room. What I thought was obvious, but I couldn't make myself say it.

"You thought she wanted to have sex with me," Heather stated..

"I know she wanted to have sex with you," I said. "I thought... I thought you did, too."

"And I thought you were going to bang the girl who was sitting in your lap," Heather said, a sharp edge to her tone. The term sounded strange on her lips. And Susie hadn't been sitting in my lap, but I knew what she meant. Susie had been disturbingly close for most of the evening.

"I... well... yeah. So did I," I admitted. "I even... well, I couldn't. I didn't want to."

"Why not?" Heather asked. If anything, her tone was harsher than it had been.

"I kept thinking about...well, about you being with Anita, and it hurt me." I pressed a finger between my breasts. "Here. So much that I wanted to curl up and make the world go away."

"You were jealous?" Heather asked.

I shrugged. "Why would I be jealous? We hardly know each other. I have no claim on you. But... yeah, it felt like that. Except in spades, and maybe with a large helping of guilt."

"Why guilt?" she asked. Her expression had softened some, but she seemed distant.

I had to pause before answering. I'd been saying what came to mind, without trying to think it through, but I owed her my understanding. "I think because I knew... well, I thought... that you felt a connection to me, and I abandoned you to Anita.

"So that you could go off with the girl you were with," she stated.

I didn't try to deflect. "Susie. Yes."

"I did feel a connection to you," Heather said. "When you stayed with me after Thursday. And how you made me feel on Friday. I wanted that, and I don't regret it, but I guess I hoped it might have meant something to you, too."

"It did," I said, my voice sounding rough to my ears. "I think that's part of the guilt. If I pushed you off with Anita it would break that feeling for both of us. But I don't want to walk away from those feelings, and I'm so very sorry that I tried to push you away from yours. Even if I hadn't felt that I wanted to get closer to you, I didn't have the right to do that."

"You have a strange way of telling me you want to get closer," Heather said.

"Can you forgive me?" I asked.

Heather patted the bed. "Sit with me and we'll talk about it."

I smiled at her, then kicked off my shoes and moved to her side. "So where do we go from here?" I asked.

"Are you scared?" she asked.

"Of what?" I asked in return.

"You seem confident and strong," Heather replied. "You're not shy and nervous around people like I am. But I think you're scared that getting involved with me might change how you live your life."

"Maybe," I said. "I think I'm scared that you'll be disappointed with me. I saw how you looked at me when I was sitting with Suse, and I don't think you deserve to feel that way."

"I'll admit I was disappointed," Heather said, "but I can get over it. I don't want more than you're willing to give. You've helped me through a difficult time, and you've brought me some very special feelings, but I'm capable of knowing that the two things aren't the same. I can be thankful for both in different ways, but I don't need to depend on you."

"I know that you don't need me," I said. "I guess what scares me is you won't want me."

"So you push me away to prove to yourself that I don't?" she asked.

I grinned at her nervously. "You do understand, don't you? I think so, though I didn't see it that way."

"I do want you, Margot," she said. "I want you very much, and I'm willing to risk waiting to see what we become to each other."

"Really?" I asked.

Heather sighed. "Why don't you just for once take what I say at face value?" she asked, sharply.

"Oh! You're right," I said, apologetically. "I guess I..."

"In other words," she continued, overriding me, "shut the f-fuck up and kiss me."

I chuckled. "You're so cute when you swear," I said.

She wrapped her arm around my neck and drew me close. "Oh, shut up," she said, and enforced her instruction by sealing my mouth with hers.


Within moments of our lips meeting, Heather's hand was caressing my waist, then moving higher to touch my breast before gently circling my nipple. I made an appreciative sound as her soft touch resonated in my clit.

Heather leaned back a few inches, frowning. Her fingers stopped moving on my shirt. "Weren't you wearing a bra at the club?"

"Uh, yeah," I confirmed.

"I thought you said nothing happened with Susie," she said. She seemed more dubious than accusatory, and after a moment, her thumb absently started rubbing my nipple from side to side.

"Not... precisely nothing," I said, "but I stopped what was going to happen."

"So what did happen?" she asked.

She had a right to know, since what I considered unimportant might be important to Heather, and I didn't want to hide anything.

"Well, Susie did get my shirt off. I let her, I mean, it sounds like I'm trying not to sound complicit. I helped. And with the bra. Then when she was touching me I couldn't keep going and I left. So that's all that happened.

"That sounds like quite a lot to me," said Heather. "Taking off your shirt. Taking off your bra. Touching your breasts. Just there?"

"Just? Oh, yes, just my breasts. And kissing," I said.

"Kissing your breasts? This keeps getting deeper," she said. She still thumbed my nipple, but her expression was getting darker.

"No, not that," I said. "Just kissing."

"That's a relief, I guess," said Heather, the frown lessening slightly. "But if you went so far, you wanted more. Why did you stop?"

"That was when the jealousy kicked in," I said. "I'd been thinking about you with Anita."

"But it was too late to do anything about that," Heather said. "So why didn't you finish what you started?"

"It felt wrong," I said. "It felt like I was betraying you. Then I couldn't do it, and I didn't want to." I grinned weakly, not looking at Heather. "Susie's not happy with me."

"I'm sure," Heather replied. "But you didn't promise me that you wouldn't be with anyone. You weren't going to give up being with other girls."

She absently pressed a finger to the other side of the nipple she was rubbing, which meant that each time she rubbed with her thumb she was also squeezing it. My thighs tensed briefly at the new sensation.

"I guess by the same token I should have known that you wouldn't be with Anita," I said. My voice rasped a couple of times and I cleared my throat. "You wanted to find friends, not lovers."

Heather's face turned red. She didn't speak, but her thumb pressed hard against my nipple a couple of times, making me squirm.

"Heather? Is there something wrong?" I asked.

"I almost did invite her in," she said, in a low voice. "She told me what she wanted to do with me. If she could make me feel like I felt on Friday..." She shuddered, and pinched my nipple again. "And you were with Susie, so why shouldn't I?. I just thought of how disappointed Faye and Erin would be. Erin said I was free to do what I want, but I imagined the look in her eyes."

She shuddered briefly, then continued. "Even then it was a close thing. I could have brought her here without either of them knowing. And maybe she would help me not be fixated on you. Maybe I could even learn how it is for the rest of you."

"If you had," I said, my voice creaking, "you'd still be making love now, and probably for a couple of hours, and you would be enjoying every minute of it. She's exceptionally good," I added.

"But it wouldn't have been you," Heather said.

"That ... uh ... might matter to you tomorrow," I replied. "Tonight you wouldn't be caring about anything. I guess she must not have tried to kiss you. If you were that close to agreeing, she'd have sealed the deal, guaranteed."

Heather's eyes widened, and her face turned pale. Since she was usually so pink, it was noticeable. "Oh my god," she whispered. "When I was halfway out of the car, she said, "No goodnight kiss?" She looked disappointed, and I thought a friendly kiss would reassure her I didn't hate her, and maybe make me feel like I hadn't walked away with nothing."

"But you didn't?" I asked, my voice thick.

"If I hadn't been partway out of the car, I would have done," Heather said. "No question. But if anyone had seen me getting out and then getting back in, I'd look dumb, and I hate having people think I'm dumb just because I'm shy. And I was already nervous from not inviting her in. So I finished getting out of the car and said "Maybe next time." Anita said, "Okay," and left."

I tried to speak but my breath caught. "Nnh... In an alternate universe, you and she are having a very fine time."

"Are you okay?" Heather asked.

"I'm a little... uh... edgy, I guess, at how close my jealous nightmare was to reality," I said.

"No, I mean, you sound like you have a sore throat," she said.

"Oh, that," replied, with a hoarse chuckle. "No." I brushed a finger over her hand. "I'm just very turned on right now."

Heather's eyebrows rose. "Oh?" she asked. "Can I do anything about that?"

"You already are," I said, with a grin.

"I mean, can I make you... come?" she asked.

"Easily," I murmured, then pulled out of her grasp to lie in the center of the bed. "Put your hand down inside my panties. I'll show you where."

Heather lay down beside me. She moved her left hand down my body, making me shudder as she pressed her fingers inside the waistband of my underwear. "I'm so turned on right now that you can touch me anywhere," I said. With my hand on the outside of my shorts, I guided her questing finger, moving it to my clit. "Touching there will give the best results."

"What else should I do?" she asked.

"Kiss me," I said. "Or kiss my boobs, if you like. Or whatever you would like to do, but I'd really like to kiss you."

Heather moved close, her finger still lightly touching my clit. I kissed her lips, sensing her excitement at what she was doing to me. I touched my tongue to hers and felt her shudder, which made me groan with the movement of her finger inside my underwear.

She lowered her head to my chest and began to lick my nipple through my shirt.

I wasn't going to last long, but that wasn't the goal. When Heather had more practice at taking time she'd see how good it could be. For now she wanted to bring me pleasure. and I was okay with that, whatever her technique. I wanted her to know how much I wanted this.I began to stroke her hair. She was so sexy against my breast.

Apparently she didn't expect the affectionate gesture. Her face colored. She lifted her lips from my breast and smiled at me. Then when she lowered her head she pinched the shirt over my nipple with her lips and tugged. Her left hand started moving against me.

I groaned at the surge of lust within me. She caught my reaction, lifting her head to see my face. Her sly grin told me my arousal was written on my face. "Oh, God, Heather," I croaked. "You're going to make me come."

At that, she tongued my nipple again, then lowered her face further and lightly gripped it between her teeth and tugged.

It was too much. I began to pant as I felt myself suddenly thrust into a passionate rise. My thighs squirmed, my hips pressing my sex against her finger. "Mmhh... mhh... mmhhh.... AHHHH" I moaned as Heather pushed me into orgasm.