Chapter 5 - Solution?
There are moments of change that come without warning, and there are those which require great effort to achieve. Transformations are brought forth from the most benign-seeming choices, and wrought from pain and searching of the heart.
Sometimes all of these are true.
We have reached a moment of transition. It is an inevitable consequence of a conjunction of causes, some sought, some not, some even now disturbing in their implication.
Perhaps it became unavoidable when Pat's eyes met mine for the first time. Perhaps it was even earlier, when our spouses met at their work. Almost surely it was necessary after Pat and I chose to fulfil our desire for each other. When we discovered that Geoff and Anita, interpreting the trail of consequence, had found their own path to union, we had to plan for this time.
Now we seek to mitigate change by acknowledging it. We are ready to embrace what will be, but hoping that we will be able to preserve what was.
We do not know if we will succeed.
Geoff meets me in the hotel lobby. It's early Friday evening. I called him earlier today. I haven't told him why. I hug him, and we share a kiss so intense it's barely proper for a public place. Geoff is mildly shocked.
I take his hand as we enter the lounge, where Pat and Anita are already sitting. Anita and Geoff are surprised at the meeting. Geoff assumed that we would be alone, and Anita believed the same about herself and Pat.
Pat's hand was covering Anita's on the table. He releases it as he stands to greet us. He shakes Geoff's hand, then takes mine and grips it tightly for a moment before releasing me. Giving me both reassurance and affection. I take Geoff's hand in mine again as we sit.
Pat tells them that he'll explain everything in a moment, and we order drinks. After they arrive, Pat begins to speak. His voice is quiet. We took care selecting this place. It's comfortable but quiet, especially at this time of the evening. We won't be distracted, and no-one will overhear our conversation.
"I have a suggestion that I need to talk about." We have discussed whether he should say "I", or "we". We decided to try to avoid hinting at a relationship yet, though it's obvious that we've planned this encounter. "I need to ask you something first, though. I'd like to ask you to promise to hear everything I have to say, and not reply until you've had at least a day to think about it." He looks at Anita. "Will you do that? This is important, and I don't know how else to do it."
Anita looks very puzzled, and the corners of her mouth are tight. She's worried, and a little suspicious. That's understandable. Still, she nods. "I guess so."
"Geoff, how about you?"
"You're being very mysterious, but yes, if all I have to do is think about what you're saying."
"Don't worry, I'm not selling Amway," Pat grins, and Geoff and Anita relax a little. "Actually, you may wish I were." Still delivered with a smile, though, warning but not intimidating. He's doing this very well. I hope I can play my part as well.
"Okay. Now we've tried to make this as comfortable as we can, but it's going to be awkward." Introducing the "we". "Please do remember you promised to hear us out, and please don't say anything. There will be time for that." Not this evening, though.
My turn. My heart is in my mouth. I hold Geoff's hand more tightly and look him in the eyes.
"Geoff, we know about Seattle." My voice catches slightly.
Shock comes over Geoff's face, and Anita turns white. Geoff tries to bluster, saying he doesn't know what I mean, and tries to take his hand away. I shush him, and grip his hand firmly.
"Remember, you promised to listen. We know, Geoff. It isn't a suspicion. I can't tell you why, yet. Please believe me that it's better that I don't. I will, in a couple of days, and you'll understand why it would make things more difficult if I were to tell you now. We... we've known for a couple of weeks. We didn't want to approach you before this, because, well, because it was quite a shock. Plus, we wanted time to think about what to do."
What we have is a tape. Accidentally recorded by Anita, covering the "highlights" of perhaps several hours of intimate activity, one evening and the following morning. We don't want to tell them. The embarassment they'll have and possibly anger towards one another would confound this situation.
"We're assuming that it isn't over between you." It's Pat's turn, and he's talking to Anita. "In fact, I'm guessing that there have been a couple of encounters since then." Anita looks down into her lap. Obviously it isn't over. Which in fact we know, having done a little detective work on their recent trips. Rather than overlapping their schedules at customer sites, they've overlapped at the local airport hotel. I didn't like checking up on them, but it really was necessary. This would be much more difficult if they had simply had a weekend's fling.
"Good," says Pat. "The thing is, I don't want to - we don't want to stop you." Anita looks more worried now than she did when she found out that we knew. "I believe that we have a very happy marriage, and I'd like to keep it working." I'm still holding Geoff's hand tightly, so that he knows this applies to us, also. "I know that you're getting something worthwhile from each other. I hope that doesn't mean that you don't see a future with me." She gives an involuntary head shake, as if to deny that possibility. "I guess I'd like to ask you - to suggest that you are open with me about it. It may not be easy, but I want you to know that I love you, and I want us to stay together."
"That goes for me, too, Geoff," I say. "If you have to leave me, I'll understand, but I don't want you to." I can afford to be fairly detached about this. If either of our spouses want a separation, Pat and I will move in together, which is an enticing prospect. Still, my eyes fill with tears, and I have to blink. "I love you, Geoff," I say quietly, and his hand tightens on mine slightly.
"That's half of my suggestion," says Pat. "The other is... well, this is the hard part..."
He pauses. He's not confident of handling this part well. I interrupt, turning to talk to Anita. She looks shaken. "You suspected that something was going on between Pat and me," I say. I look back at Geoff, lift his hand to my lips and kiss it. "I'm sorry, Geoff." I want to say "she was right", but I can't get the words out. I'm not quite crying, but I'm very close.
Pat comes to my rescue. "Yeah, that's the other part." He sounds weary. He's just upset, and scared. "Elaine and I want to keep seeing each other. It might be hard for you to accept that I can say that and still want our marriage to work, but it's true."
He continues, "And that's effectively my suggestion. I'm not asking you for an open marriage, that wouldn't interest me. I want to be free to see Elaine, though, and leave you free to be with Geoff. They're both such wonderful people that I'd like to invite them into our life, and if Geoff can give you something special, that makes me happy, because I love you."
"What we're going to do," I try to sound confident, "is this. We want you to think about this. You're probably not feeling like being rational right now, so it wouldn't be a good idea to argue about it. Let's leave it for a day, maybe two or three days, if you prefer, and we'll get back together and talk about it. We want you to have the chance to think about it, talk about it, sleep on it. Pat is going to take me dancing, and no, my love, I'm not planning to come home afterwards. Besides, I think Anita will need you."
"We'll come back here tomorrow night at the same time," says Pat. "If you can make it, we'll talk then. You know my cellphone number if you really need me before that." He stands. I relinquish Geoff's hand, and stand also.
Pat runs his hand through Anita's hair and whispers in her ear. She grabs his hand, looks at him for a moment, and lets him go. I reach over Geoff's shoulders from the back and kiss his cheek. "I love you," I say to him, quietly. "Please, take Anita home and give her a very special time. I hug him tightly. He puts his hand over mine and releases me. I start to walk out behind Pat. Then I turn around, and walk back to Anita and hug her. She resists for a moment. She looks stunned. Then suddenly, she stands and holds me to her.
I whisper to her. "Take care of my guy. I do love him." I'm sniffling slightly. She pats my head. "You take care of mine," she says. "I think I'm going to want him back."
As we leave the lounge, I look back. Anita has started crying, and Geoff has put his hand on her shoulder. I shiver slightly as we walk away.
"Do you want to go dancing?" Pat asks me. We already have a hotel room reserved, and had planned to go check in.
"Yes, I think so," I say. "I don't want to be alone right now, even for a short time. Even with you." I take his hand and look up at him. "Don't worry about me. I'm sure I will later."
I feel despondent as we drive away, but a couple of hours of dancing indecently close to Pat improves my spirits. We head for the hotel before ten o'clock, picking up coffee from a nearby Starbucks, and check in.
I sit on the edge of the bed, sipping coffee and swinging my feet. "What do you think they'll do?" I must have asked this a dozen times in the last few days.
"I wish I knew." Which has pretty much been his answer, too. "I was relieved that no-one started arguing. I guess it was as difficult for both of them as it was for us."
I put my coffee down and stand up. I put my arms around his chest and lay my head against his shoulder. "I wonder if this was really a good idea. 'Bye guys, we're going to spend the night together'".
We've been through this, too, of course. I know, it really is the best way.
Pat's reply is typically caustic. "We could call them, if you like. Tell them I'm sleeping on the couch."
"I think that misses the point. Besides, if they've recovered from the shock, we'd probably catch them in flagrante delicto."
"I where? I thought they'd be in bed."
I grin. "Yeah, well, so will we. Unless you think there's room for both of us on the couch?"
I don't know if I'm going to get much sleep tonight. I'm really on edge. Still, what's done is done. Our script is certainly played out, and from here it's improvisation. Which we've been pretty good at, so far.
I lean up and kiss him on the mouth. He responds lovingly. I don't compare Pat and Geoff. Well, hardly ever. There's one trait, though, that Pat posesses in abundance, and that's tenderness. I think that's part of the key, part of why I find Pat so fulfilling as a lover. Geoff's so technically perfect, so calculatedly exciting, where Pat just is exciting. Because he isn't trying to be, because he's tender and sensitive and caring and isn't trying to give me a mind-blowing orgasm, he's trying to make me happy.
Which, for me, is the best way to give me a mind-blowing orgasm.
I'm getting goose pimples just thinking about it.
I reach down and unfasten his pants. I pull his cock from his underwear, and it firms up in my hand. I drop to my knees and take him into my mouth.
He gets harder as I lick him like an ice-cream. There's a slight upward curve to his cock that I don't think I've noticed before. It only seems to be visible when he's as hard as he is now. There's a marbling pattern to the surface with the fine veins visible beneath translucent skin. I run my tongue all over the surface, following some of the veins.
I move back and concentrate on the sensitive area below the head. That always seems to make him go crazy, and this seems no exception. He reaches down and lightly runs his hands through my hair. It's hard for me to look up at this angle, but if I get right underneath, rest him on my teeth and flick my tongue along him, I can look right into his eyes and see the excitement in his face.
I move back to the head, and take about half his length into my mouth. I slide my lips up to the head, and back down halfway, keeping my tongue out of the way. That's for later. I do this for a while, watching his face when I can. He's flushed and breathing deeply. I take him out of my mouth for a moment, then, holding his shaft, I scrub him roughly against my tongue. He takes in air in a rush. I feel the tautness in him as I do this.
Then I'm back over the head, moving slowly. Now I get my tongue against him and press hard, as I speed up my nodding motion. I start to flap my tongue against the head, and suck. He starts to tense, then I feel his cock move as his body stiffens.
I suck hard, and his cock starts pulsing wildly inside my mouth. He staggers slightly. I keep stroking the head of his cock with the back of my tongue. I swallow the salty stickiness, not letting up on the pace I've set. He does seem to have a little trouble keeping his balance as the spasms take him, but soon, too soon, the contractions subside, and he lifts my head gently away from his cock, and up towards his face. He kisses me deeply, ignoring his own taste.
Finally I sit back down on the bed and finish my coffee, which has cooled considerably.
He slips his pants back on. I'm sure they won't stay on for long. He sits next to me, and I lay my head on his shoulder.
"You didn't even give me chance to take my shoes off". His tone is amused, not accusing; he puts his left arm around my shoulder and hugs me to him.
"I started thinking about what you do to me, and I didn't want to wait. You didn't seem to be objecting."
"No, I wasn't objecting." He reaches his right hand over and strokes my left arm, then my breast. Even fully clothed, I like it when he touches me. I'm pleased that he likes my breasts. I'm slender and slightly below average height. My breasts aren't especially large, but they do tend to dominate my small frame. Pat seems to like me that way, and I'm happy that he does.
He lifts my head and our lips join. I put my arms around his neck and he holds me tightly. I release myself to the magic of his kiss. We slowly stroke our lips together, filled with the sense of closeness; connected.
After a time, he starts to unfasten my blouse. I pull away from him and move my arms to let him slide it off. He touches my bra, running his fingers over it.
He reaches behind me and unclasps my bra. He slides it off, and his eyes take in my breasts. He slides his hands from my side to my nipple, gently caressing. I put my arms back around his neck and our lips and tongues meet again. I leave him enough room to hold and fondle my breasts. Every movement of his hands sends warmth through me. I kiss him more strongly as I tingle with anticipation.
I unbutton and remove his shirt. He pulls away from my lips, and lowers his mouth to my left breast. He holds my breast in his hands as he strokes it with his tongue, then takes it inside his mouth and kneads with his tongue. The motion excites a delightful tightness within me, and I feel myself getting wet. I lay my hands on his head, and hold him to me. I nuzzle my cheek against his hair.
He flutters his tongue against my nipple. The stimulation reaches deep within me. I close my eyes and imagine him inside me, gently rocking...
He transfers his attention to my right breast, stoking the furnace. I want him, and I want him now.
I push him away and remove my skirt, shoes and hose. He steps out of his shoes, and takes off his pants. We lie on the bed in our underwear, facing each other. We kiss, and I hold him to me.
He rolls us both over, so that I'm lying on my back and he's on top of me, supporting himself on his arms. We kiss a while longer, then he moves along me until he is level with my breast. He takes my left breast into his mouth, and fondles the other with his hand.
He moves down further, and kisses my stomach, and my legs. He squeezes my butt while he plants kisses on my thigh.
He slides my panties down just a couple of inches, and nuzzles and kisses my bush. He parts my pussy with his fingers and presses his face down into it, then pulls back and tells my how lovely I look. He does this several times, occasionally sneaking a short lick to my pussy lips before pulling away.
He takes my panties off completely, and lifts and parts my knees. He brings his right hand up to my pussy, and very slowly gets a couple of fingers inside me. He presses upward and strokes, firmly but not roughly. Then he lowers his face back to me, and runs his tongue around the edge of my pussy.
I reach behind me and slide a pillow under my head so that I can watch him work. He has his eyes on mine, reading my face for responses. I'm not sure that he'll learn much, since everything he's doing feels so fine.
He keeps stroking regularly with his fingers, and with his tongue he alternates getting inside me and licking around the edge.
He touches my clit with his tongue, and I shudder. He backs off, and licks around it, then brushes it again. I hear my own breathing get loud as raw emotion pounds at me. He slowly starts to lick my clit. Need wells up inside me, need for him to bring my joy to fruition. I start to move against him.
There are two powers at work within me. The regular waves of pleasure from the movement of his fingers and the urgent desire that he's bringing with his tongue. They feed on each other, build on each other, need and pleasure merging into an unbearable whole. My being cries out for him to bring me to completion. I breathe to the rhythm of my movement against his face. With every breath I bear down, using the air in my lungs to squeeze myself, trying to push myself over the edge. Then I gasp and breathe in sharply and try again.
In one instant I'm in control, desparate to reach my goal, in the next, I lose what power I have over my body, as Pat pulls my clit into his mouth and sucks gently. I stop trying to push myself upward. I'm breathing too fast and too uncontrolled for that. I'm moaning, quickly, loudly, not even having the discipline to pant in silence.
Pat pushes my clit, then sucks it back in and laps his tongue against it, fast and hard. My clit is so inflamed with passion that it seems for a moment that it must be radiating out, I wonder in my delirium how he can keep such force in his tongue while it's absorbing so much feeling... and the disorientation becomes chaos in my mind as I'm carried to the brink of ecstasy.
My body stiffens, and I'm held for a moment, release in sight but suddenly seeming further away than ever. Time slows as I'm overwhelmingly aroused, beyond my capacity to feel. I don't know if Pat changes his motion to keep me there, or if he's even aware of my reactions; individual feelings are lost to me. I may be on the cusp for less than a second, or five seconds. Or five minutes, I can't tell, but even the strongest dam breaks under enough pressure, and I'd be ready to compare notes with the Grand Coulee when I come crashing down into pleasure. I become aware of Pat's tongue again as he fills me with joy.
As soon as he has finished bringing me down to earth, I want him inside me. I pull his face up to mine and fasten my mouth on his, gasping as I breathe through my nose. I fumble with his underwear. He's rock hard - fortunately, it would be truly frustrating if he wasn't yet recovered - and getting his underwear over his erect cock isn't easy. I hope I haven't hurt him in my panic. I don't even wait for him to finish removing his underwear before I try to get him inside me, but he pulls back slightly and slips his underwear off.
He enters me, or I draw him in, I'm not sure which, and we writhe against each other, locked in our kiss, until I feel another orgasm seeding. Then I stop moving, and roll him onto his back. We move again, and he draws me immediately into powerful pleasure. We thrust against each other as a series of climaxes roll over me. I don't pay any attention to trying to control them, I just let them take me, until Pat starts gasping. Then I slow down, working with him to bring him delight. When he's close to the edge my body starts spasming again, and the feeling helps me guide him to his own release within me. His cock pulsing powerfully within me feels glorious, and fuels the power of my orgasm. We fill each other with joy and love as we both slowly allow ourselves to relax.
I kiss him tenderly on the lips. "I love you," I say. There doesn't seem any point saying or doing anything else.
"I love you, Elaine," he whispers. I entwine my fingers with his and lie against his shoulder, still on top of him. I think he is still inside me as I drift off to sleep.
I'm awakened, quite rudely, I think, by a whistling, chirping sound. It's Pat's cellphone. I only realize that when he mumbles into it. I must have rolled off Pat sometime during the night, because I'm curled up against him.
Pat isn't completely awake either. After asking for a couple of repeats, he comes alert fairly abruptly.
"Are you sure?" I hear him ask. "You haven't had very much time yet."
Oh, no. My heart sinks. It must be Geoff or Anita. I knew this had to happen sometime today, but I was hoping at least to be awake. Still, Pat doesn't look annoyed or uneasy.
In fact, he chuckles. "I hope not," he says to the other party. Then he listens for a while. "Why don't we talk about that when you get here?... Oh, I see... Hold on, let me ask."
I'm feeling especially nervous. Anything they may want to talk to me about now I probably don't want to know. If it's good, it would have waited until this evening.
He pushes the phone down into the pillow to mute it. "Is there any way you could take Monday and Tuesday off work?"
I could. I have several vacation days available, and my manager's pretty flexible. I'm working to a deadline, but it's a few weeks away, and she won't mind if I make up the time.
"Well, probably. Why?"
"Geoff and Anita would like to take us to San Antonio for a long weekend. As a couple. Geoff has made reservations already at the Marriott on the Riverwalk. He can cancel them if we don't want to go, but I'd think it could be fun."
"You mean, they want us to stay together?"
"Geoff says they both think it's weird, but they want to give it a try. They figure it would be pleasant for us all to relax in one another's company while we get used to the idea. It sounds as though they... enjoyed making the decision. Fortunately, he says, they didn't need to sleep on it, because they didn't get much sleep. Oh, and he wants to know if this makes him my brother in law. I said I hope not."
What a strange feeling. Now I'm really all tingly inside. To hear such good news, and at the same time to hear that my husband is talking openly about sleeping - or not sleeping - with another woman... damn. "What the hell, tell him yes." I lift the pillow, lie on the bed, and hold the pillow over my face to keep out the world. "Don't worry," I tell Pat through the pillow, "I'll be fine when the world stops spinning."
I hear Pat's continuing conversation. "She says yes. I think she likes the idea... No, I thinks he has all the sleepwear she needs..." Hmph. I have the one negligee Pat bought me. "Yeah, okay... then be sure to bring the black one with the split skirt and low... yeah, that one... black stockings, shoes, I'm sure Anita can help with accessories and jewelry." Damn, they're dressing me now. It makes sense, I guess. Pat gives him the name of the hotel where we're staying, talks time for a moment and hangs up.
I put the pillow down on my belly and look up at him. "I take it he's packing a suitcase for me? I'm glad Anita is there, or I'd probably have a green top and blue skirt. Or four pairs of jeans, a tee-shirt and no bra."
"Sounds good to me". I dig him. "He's packing your swimsuit, too."
"Not if your wife sees it, he isn't. We may have to buy a new one."
I get up and start the shower. He waits for me to finish, then takes his own. The shower's too small for two, at least two who need to get out of bed some time today.
Pat's unconcerned with his nudity as we trade places in the bathroom. It's unusual seeing him naked without an erection. I feel good about it. Apart from his having a great body, it lets me know that he's comfortable around me.
I slide back into the sheets to rest for a moment, and ponder the coming days. I hope Geoff does pack my swimsuit. Pat will love to see me in it. And to help me slip it off...
I wonder if Anita will want to spend any time with Pat? I pick the negligee up off the bed. It would be fun to wear this for Geoff at least once. It probably wouldn't stay on me very long...
I wonder if Anita has anything like this. I wonder if she'd like to borrow it...
A few minutes later, Pat returns, towelling his hair, still wearing not a stitch. He lies back on the bed and looks over at me.
Hmmm... was that without an erection?
Not any more.
"By the way, his precise words were 'drive to San Antonio for a long weekend of debauchery'".
I roll my eyes. "I hope we don't have adjacent rooms."
"Debauchery..." he begins, "is that like..."
I join in halfway through, "... boffing each other senseless. Yes, I think so. Come to think of it, if we're going to spend four days debauching, I think we need to get some practise..."
"They'll be here in an hour for breakfast. You still have to do makeup and all that, right?"
"Why do I need makeup? You seem to find me attractive without makeup on. Or anything else, for that matter." I slip out of the sheets, naked. Pat looks over my body, and any trace of limpness is immediately cured.
"Well, I'd like to say for the record that I do find you attractive with makeup and clothes in place. Given the choice, though..."
I climb onto him. "Mister, right now you don't have a choice." I straddle his thighs and get him inside me. Slowly. I'm not very wet, yet, but I'm getting there.
Still straddling him, I start to move. He reaches up and squeezes my breasts. I lean down and kiss him sloppily, but sit back up again, moving against him. He feels so good inside me, and I can see in his face the pleasure is reciprocal. Warm thrills race through me as we move.
Our bodies are still warm from the shower. The exertion and humidity with the warmth makes me start to perspire. With my hair wet also, I feel droplets of water running down my face, cooling me.
I take Pat's right hand away from my breast, and hold his finger against my pussy. Lightly I apply pressure, and I suck in a breath as his cock sparks a fire in my clit. He gets the idea, and keeps just the right amount of pressure on me. The thrill tightens me up inside, which stimulates him, and we're both breathing heavily.
He presses slightly harder, and I respond within. The momentum builds, and my face feels flushed as I slide over into orgasm. We keep up the motion, and prolong my pleasure. As my climax eventually fades, he tightens and thrusts hard against me. I feel his cock spasming within me, and that brings me suddenly to another climax, less intense but still wonderful.
I lean forward again and we kiss as we start to relax. He fondles my breasts gently, and I taste his tongue.
We reluctantly separate, dress and pack. I have time to straighten my hair and apply just a little makeup. We'll join Geoff and Anita for breakfast, then drive to Pat's. Geoff will meet us there, and Pat and Anita will pack what they need. No doubt Geoff and Pat will do the guy thing and insist on doing all the driving. There are changes ahead, but that probably won't be one of them. Besides, I'm too worn out to complain.
Perhaps we have begun to manage a major change without catastrophic results. I hope so, and I'm somewhat eager to find out. We may find that jealousies can't be overcome, and will fragment our relationships before we can make them stable. There is one important benefit to Geoff's vacation idea: that Anita and I can spend time together, too. If we were to trade our menfolk without seeing each other we would try to compete, and it would hurt us. I like Anita, and if Pat loves her, then so can I. Perhaps it is better that Pat and Geoff play the macho driver role. I think I'll ask Anita if she'll sit in the back of the car with me, so we can talk.
There are serious trials over the horizon, too. If our relationship works, and if it lasts, what happens if and when we want kids? I can see it now. Reinventing the hippy commune in the twenty-first century.
I don't think so.
Right now, though, I don't want to give up precious time with either of my men to raise a family.
Change is a factor in all life, and if we're going through a bigger change than ever before, well, the potential rewards are bigger. If we manage it well.
Pat opens the door for me, and we leave the room. We'll return for our bags when we check out, after breakfast.
Hand in hand, we walk toward our next phase of transition.